How Strong is a Woman?

My mind is whirling faster than a tornado in a trailer park. Last night I was shown how strong a woman can be. How couragious.....in two different ways, from two different women.

The fist call I recieved was from my mother...that in itself is a strange occurance. We have never been a close family, nor will we ever be, but that is something I am at peace with. The reason my mom called was to let me know that my cousin Jeannie was on her death bed, and probably wouldn't be alive to see the sunrise. Three years ago Jeannie, who is four years younger than I, was diagnosed with cancer and given six months to live. She is the mother of two young girls and the loving wife to a man she has been with for over 10 years. After recieving this news, she did not withdrawl, she did not crave pity....she fought...and she fought hard. Never once did she complain about her situation or her pain, she always wore a smile as big as her heart. The last time I saw her she was down to 86 pounds (last night as she lay in bed, her weight was recorded at 50 pounds) and even then found something positive to say "Hey Erica, look! I've finally reached my goal weight!" It is hard to look into someone's eyes and smile when you know they are dying. But Jeannie wouldn't allow a moment to pass without injecting humour into the room.

After the doctor gave her the news that she had cancer and that she only had six months to live, she made a list. A list of everything she wanted to do before leaving this earth. That made me think....what would be on my list? She is the reason I took the stand-up stage two years ago. She made me realize that life is too short for 'what-if's' and 'I should have's". She never got to see me perform...she was always to weak to be out late at the clubs. I wish she had. I honestly and truely do. I am not a great performer, I am not a natural comedy writer...but I would have like to show her what her courage had allowed me to do. All I can hope is that if she had seen me perform she would have been proud. WHEN the time comes that I am rich beyond rich because of doing comedy, I will set her girls up with some sort of college fund, do something for them....that is my promise.

Surpassing the doctors expectations gave Jeannie enough time to write letters to her children that are to be handed out to them at different stages in their lives. She also recorded videos of herself talking to them, giving them advice, and last night she was able to bring the girls to her bedside and say her final good-byes. As I type this, tears are rolling uncontrably down my face. The thought of having to say good-bye to my wee one's is unbareable. Jeannie's soul was remarkable. Her strong will helped her live two years longer, helped her face her situation head on, helped her loved one's deal with her passing. I don't care if you only attend church once a month, I don't care if you cannot recite bible verses word for word, I don't care if you worship Budda, Ala or the Good Lord Almighty....all I am asking you to do is to say a prayer for her family. Say a prayer to give them strength. Say a prayer that they will know she is always with them.

The second call I recieved last night was from my dearest friend Shelley Marshall. She is touring Cananad with Puppetry of the Penis...a comedy gig that was made for her! Last night she called to say she had recieved her very first standing ovation. 2000 people all stood up to show their appreciation for her performance. 2000 people filled the theatre and loved her. The standing ovation she recieved is well deserved. She has fought many battles, she has conquered many demons, she has struggled, worked, sweated, failed and triumphed to get to where she was last night. In an occupation that is maily dominated by men, she has risen above. In a field where the average age seems to be 25, this 43 year old woman has kicked pubesant ass. Never quitting, never waivering, her strength and confidence have made her a leader. She is not selfish in her conquest though. She is using her experiences and her knowledge of the comedy industry to help other female comics achieve success. She has taken me under her wing and helped this little country bumpkin reach the big city. I will always love her for sharing her life with me.

These two women, although their stories are completely different, show all that have had the pleasure to meet them the same thing.......strength, courage and the will to fight for what you believe you can do, are things that the rest of us have selfishly forgotten. It is easy to sit back and whine that things are not going your way...and sometimes you honestly need to do that.....but I believe everything happens for a reason....and the reason I have these two lovely souls in my life, is because they have given me strength. Strength to do better. Strength to be better.

Mother's Day is just around the corner, it is a day to show appreciation for our mothers, but EVERYDAY should be 'woman's day'. Everyday we should celebrate the achievements of the women around us. Everyday we should learn from the women who have gone before us. Everyday we should just be thankful for every day.