What's being said about Christmas

The Christmas Season is apon us! I have found a list of funny Christmas quotes to help you cope with this holiday season.

Yes, we all love the holidays...but sometimes they can make us want to scream, pull our hair out and drink WAY too much eggnog!! In order to truly enjoy this holiday season it is important for you to keep smiling and laughing....after all, the Christmas season is meant to be a time of joy.

"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall." -Larry Wilde.

"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." -Joan Rivers.

"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included." -Bernard Manning

"Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home." -Carol Nelson

"Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money." -Author Unknown

"Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present." -Author Unknown

"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." -Phyllis Diller

"There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them." -P.J. O'Rourke

"Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet." -Author Unknown

"Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ." -Bart Simpson

"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." -Erma Bombeck

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." -Jay Leno

"Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money." -Author Unknown

"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year." -P.J. O'Rourke

"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit." -Kin Hubbard

Pain in my tooth!

For the past few weeks I have been suffering from a toothache. It amazes me how something as tiny as a tooth can cause such tremendous pain. I fear that it is literally going to drive me completely bonkers. Since having a cavity filled a month ago (the filling was placed on the nerve), one of my back molars is SUPER sensitive to hot and cold. For twenty minutes after my first cup of coffee in the morning I am holding a hot water bottle up to my cheek and applying WAY too much Ambysol to my gums. I know the easiest solution to this problem would be to just simply give up my hot cup of java in the morning......this is a solution that I would NEVER consider! Asking me to go without my morning caffeine would be like asking Ellen to give up dancing, or asking my son to give up skate boarding or like asking my neighbour to smile and wave back each morning instead of scowling and grunting.....in other words....impossible! I have tried tylenol, ambysol, a hot water bottle...nothing eases or lessens the pain. So I Googled 'toothache pain remedies' and found myself chuckling over a couple of 'home remedies'.....

•Toothache relief using Onion - Latest research has confirmed the bactericidal properties of onion. If a person consumes one raw onion every day by thorough mastication(I'm not sure what that means...kind of sounds naughty!), he will be protected from host of tooth disorders. Chewing raw onion for three minutes is sufficient to kill all the germs in the mouth. Toothache is often allayed by placing a small piece of onion on the bad tooth or gum.
•Remedies for Tooth ache using Garlic - Among the most effective home remedies for toothache is garlic. A clove of garlic with a little rock salt should be placed on the affected tooth. It will relieve the pain and, sometimes, may even cure it. A clove should also be chewed daily in the morning. It will make the cure teeth making it strong and healthy.(they forgot to mention that your tooth pain will be the least of your problems....your breath will smell like the butt of a skunk....they should have also included a home remedy for halitosis with this one!)
• Keep your head up - Elevating your head can decrease the pressure in the area and may lessen throbbing pain (your neck will be killing you, but your tooth will feel better!)
I am on the 'short list' to see a specialist about a root canal (or at this point I wouldn't object to having the thing pulled!), so cross your fingers and toes that I get an appointment before Christmas....because there is NO WAY I am missing out on pie with ice-cream and hot chocolate with whipped cream!

Celebrate!!!

Did you realize that Friday was NATIONAL NACHO DAY???? Why is this not marked on my calendar? Had it not been for a friend bringing this important occasion to my attention I would have totally missed it...it just would have been another day. November 6 is now marked in permanent marker on my calendar as being National Nacho Day...a day we should all celebrate! If we all honored nachos like they so deservedly should be ....I think we would be a few steps closer to world peace. No one can eat nachos and be angry. It's the food of happiness. Melted cheese, bacon, hot peppers....all symbols of love! November 20th is National Peanut Butter Fudge Day...mark it down, take out the good china, invite the family over and CELEBRATE!

I'm glad it's just not me!

While I was browsing the infinite sites on the internet, I came across one that made me chuckle. It's a website blog that centres around how absolutely wonderfully annoying husbands (and wives) can be! It's not a negative site, every post finds humour in the things that drive us crazy about our beloved. It is a good-humoured blog that brings to light the everyday trials and tribulations that the majority of us experience.....whether it be with our husband or our wife....from everything from embarrassing habits to who takes out the trash! If you have a moment or two, check it out, you're bound to read a posting from someone who 'knows your pain'! To quote one of the fans of the site "This is great. I’m glad to see it’s possible to love someone endlessly even though they annoy the everloving crap out of you."

http://myhusbandisannoying.com/

Did you know.....

Last night at the dinner table, my family of five spent most of the meal trying to 'out wit' each other. "Did you know...." is how most of the topics of conversation were started. Interesting facts are....well, interesting! Here are some of the ones we tried to wow each other with last night!

In an average day, a four year old child will ask 437 questions.
In 1926, women were banned from competing in marathons because it was believed it caused infertility. 800m was the maximum distance a woman could "safely" run. It wasn't until 1963 the next official time was recorded for a woman.
When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.
The McDonald’s at Toronto’s ‘SkyDome’ is the only McDonald’s location that sells hot dogs.
The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney.
Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries because Colgate translates into the command “go hang yourself.”
It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.
There are approx. 550 hairs in the eyebrow.
An Anteater is nearly 6 feet long, yet its mouth is only an inch wide.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.
It takes about 48 hours for your body to completely digest the food from one meal.
‘Jedi’ is an official religion, with over 70,000 followers, in Australia.

Love you more than......

Sometimes we tend to let stress, worry and negative thoughts consume us. It can ruin our entire day. It can disrupt our sleep and be damaging to our relationships. We need to force ourselves to focus on the good things that are right in front of us at this very moment. Too often, we let our thoughts steal the present by thinking about the past or future. Sharing our 'happy thoughts' with others can turn a miserable day into a pleasant one.

Before my kiddies get on the school bus every morning we tell each other "Love you more than cheese!". Sound silly? Ya it does, but it brings a smile to their faces and to all those around us. My children know I LOVE CHEESE, LOVE IT and they also know I love them WAY more than that! It's our little way of bringing a smile to each others face....it's a nice way to start the day. We've expanded the "LOVE YOU MORE THAN's" to express our feelings, because each of us is different in our 'loves'.

•my son - "I love you more than ketchup on my french fries!"
•my youngest daughter - "I love you more than going to Grandma's"

•my son - "I love you more than beating the next level on my video game!"
•my oldest daughter - "I love you more than extra butter on my popcorn!"
•my husband - "I love you more than sleeping in on Saturday!"
A girlfriend and I have started doing the "LOVE YOU MORE THAN's" each and every time we email each other.

•"love you more than spandex in my jeans"
•"love you more than lipstick that stays on"
•"love you more than pantyhose that fit!"
•"love you more than having my hair shampooed at the salon"
•"love you more than my kids doing the dishes!"
I do it, they do it....and you should do it too! A smile is more beautiful than a sunset.....we share pens, flu viruses, complaints....why not a smile!

I would love to hear your "LOVE YOU MORE THAN's", let me know what they are!!

A day of rest!

I think this is the happiest Hump Day EVER for me. "Pour quoi?" you ask.....it's really quite simple...it's because of the silence. As I sit here at my computer the only sounds I hear are the clacks and clicks of the keyboard as I pound away and the gurgling of the lizard's water bowl. (Yes, we have a lizard. His (or her...can't quite tell) name is Spike and he/she lives in a terrarium that sits beside the computer. Interesting creature....but not that cuddly!) No shrieks of 'Mom!', no nose blowing, no coughing, no high pitched squeals of morning cartoons. Nothing. Spike and I are sitting here in silence enjoying each others company.



For the past two weeks my house has been turned into an infirmary. I have been administering medicines, rubbing chests and backs with Vics, boiling soup, wiping noses and taking temperatures. Every year, as soon as school starts, I can always count on my kiddies to bring home some sort of flu or cold virus. This year though thoughts of H1N1 seem to trump worries of head lice and packing a peanut-free lunch. We washed our hands, we sanitized, we coughed into our sleeves.....but the flu virus still came for a 'sleep over' at our house. Plenty of rest, medicine every 4 hours, mom's famous 'homemade chicken noodle soup right out of the can' and tonnes of snuggling on the couch...and voila.... a week and a half later we are almost, sort of, not quite back to our normal disease free selves! This is the fist day in 11 days that I am not at home nursing someone back to health. Having said that......I am off to take a glorious 4 hour nap! Taking care of my three chitlans and my hubby-licious (who, when sick, is a bigger baby than a 3 year old toddler!) has wiped me out! I am going to take advantage of this silent, empty house and curl up on the couch, sleep, and hopefully dream of being served nachos by a handsome cabana boy in some tropical far-away place!

I'm not signing up for that!

I have always been a 'big girl'. It's no secret. Whether you catch me from the front or the back there ain't no hiding it.....I'm pleasantly plump!

I have curves, rolls and cellulite dimples. After 30 years of struggling and yo-yoing with my weight I finally came to the conclusion that I am happy with myself the way I am and should stop comparing my body to those of super-models. Of course I would like to loose a few pounds, but no longer desire to be a teeny size 2.

A while back I drove past a gym and thought "why not? Exercise could be fun....it always looks fun on tv!" so I walked in with full intentions of joining. Since I had never looked into joining a gym before I had no idea what to expect. I figured I would go in there and pay a small fee and be able to begin sweating to the oldies that very same day. I probably could have started my exercise regime that very day....that's not the part of the scenario that I had problems with....it was the 'small fee' part. Jack (the super-buffed herculian that was behind the front desk) informed me that in order to become a member of 'his' gym I had to sign a YEAR long contract and PAY $1500. WHAT?

"What if I don't want to go to the gym for a year?"

"Well, Maam, you don't have to keep coming for a year, but you will have to pay for a year's membership. You still pay even if you quit."

"That's stupid."

"That's our policy maam."

"Can't I just join for, say, three months?"

"Sorry maam, we only have contracts for a year"

"That's stupid...and stop calling me maam."

"Sorry. Don't you think you owe it to yourself to make a commitment to better health?"

"All my pants are 20% jean and 80% spandex....obviously I am not that commited to weightloss. What about that sign you have outside..'Join for a month's trial for $10?' Can't I do that?"

"Oh, you saw that sign. Okay, ya, I can sign you up for a month's trial for only ten dollars"

If I had brought my inhaler I would have smacked him and run! I ended up signing a month long contract for ten dollars...figured it would be a good way for me to see if I would actually use the gym, to see if I could actually get my self into a work-out routine. That one month for ten dollars deal turned out to be the worst idea EVER! Those 30 days ended up costing me TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS AND I gained 15 pounds! They had all this fancy equipment but the only machine I knew how to use was the snack machine...and peanut butter cups in that thing cost THREE DOLLARS!

I won't be joining another gym anytime soon, perhaps I'll start a walking routine on my own, or maybe buy a yoga tape and do it in my living room, or become a vegitarian......maybe. For now...I'm quite happy in my spandex jeans....at least for today.....you never know about tomorrow though!

Do not disturb

Today is one of those lazy, wanna nap all day, why bother getting dressed, gonna microwave everyone's dinner days. The sky is grey, the rain is falling periodically and the five people that live in this house have all gone in separate directions.

There are tonnes of things I SHOULD be doing. Laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, updating photo albums, writing a new joke or two. But alas, I am doing not one single thing on my ever-growing 'to do list'. I probably should feel a wee bit guilty about that. Probably should. But I don't. Does that make me a bad person, a bad mom? Who knows? I should take the time to think about that but that would require using too much energy. I'll contemplate all that tomorrow. Maybe.

It's a peaceful day.
A lazy day.
A good day for a nap!

sometimes......

Friday.....you feel like a freakin' rock star on the comedy stage!


Saturday........ you feel like the rock star's water boy!





Comedy can be a cruel, cruel bitch!





Friday night I performed at a little country legion and, at the risk of sounding too modest, ROCKED the freakin' joint! It was amazing! I left there feeling like a comedy queen!





Tonight? I did two comedy clubs....and although I didn't bomb....I left BOTH establishments feeling 'not so funny'.

One night UP....one night DOWN!!!!!

Comedy is a cruel, cruel bitch!

Thank you!

I was part of the Stand Up and Bite Me contest a few weeks back. I didn't win the night I performed in the preliminary round, but without a doubt, the fellow that deserved to win did. Those of us that weren't chosen by judges on our nights of preliminaries (there were four rounds) were able to ask for on-line votes...and if you received the most votes, you were automatically given a spot to perform in the finals...the winner of which walks away with $5000.

I pimped myself out shamelessly and was able to win the on-line vote....AWESOME! I am truly thankful to everyone who voted, for the encouragement and support I was given and for the kindness I was shown. I am extremely blessed. Without those people taking the time to vote....I wouldn't have the wonderful opportunity that I have now to compete in the finals.

There is another on-line voting segment that will start next week. I am not really looking forward to asking everyone to vote again...I'm afraid they'll all get sick of me. Comedy is part talent, part 'who you know', and a big part is self-promotion. If you don't get your name out there and keep it out there people won't know who the heck you are. It can be pretty exhausting work sometimes and you run the risk of making people pretty sick of hearing about you and from you.

I thank everyone who voted last week.....thank you, thank you, thank you!

See you next week when I again will be knocking on your facebook wall asking you to vote again!

xoxox

Thanks for coming!

I have been spending some time reading other blogs....wow...there are definitely some really, REALLY good ones out there. They are well written, look absolutely amazing and have followings greater than The Beatles!

And then there's mine.

I am not, nor have I ever proclaimed to be, a prolific writer. I can't spell worth a crap (that God for spellcheck! Greatest invention ever!...right after the heated toilet seat!), I don't know any big fancy words and I am definitely not computer-savvy enough to design a specialty blog.

I just write to write. I write to talk about my day. I write to share my feelings. I write to pass along a smile.

So, if you have come here to learn something or to expand your mind you, my friend, have come to the wrong blog. BUT, I am definitely glad you are here! I really, truly am. I love knowing that people are reading what I write, that people are interested in what I have to say. So welcome! Thanks for coming!

*this picture has nothing to do with the blog I wrote today...I just thought it was cool!

New York!

Wow! It has been a while since my last post. All that stuff I wrote about dedicating myself to writing faithfully......I really did mean it at the time! Honestly!

I think the first thing I must write about is my trip to New York City. WOW! I had an incredible time....in-cred-e-able! I cannot wait to go back. There are so many clubs there that you could perform stand-up every night of the week - and sometimes twice a night if you so desired! Everyone I met was really very nice, they instantly welcomed me to share a stage with them. There was no egos, no feelings of competitiveness, no 'I'm better than you are'. It was an incredible experience and I can't wait to go there and do it again and again!

Saturday night I performed at Gotham Comedy Club...beautiful, classy club. The audience was small but terrific. When you perform there you are given a free DVD of your performance...I have it posted on youtube...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwL3z7MxR4g check it out and let me know what you think. I performed with some really amazing talent that night, of course I can't remember any one's name because I am absolutely horrid at name-remembering...but trust me...everyone who took the stage that night was very funny!

Tuesday night I took the stage at The Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden in Queens. Small little room but really quite nice. It's an intimate setting that ensures a closeness with the audience. Every single one of the comedians that grabbed that mic that night had amazing resumes...I was way out of my class. BUT I held my own...once again, it was a good night for me and for all those who performed.

Thursday night I strutted my stuff on the Stand Up NY stage. LOVED that place! The people, the comics, the audience...it was the 'night of nights' for me. I did so well that I had people asking to take my picture with them after the show! The club has asked me to come back and perform during a PRO night! SAY WHAT!!!!!!???!! I am very, VERY excited about that. Right now I am just waiting for the Booker of the club to give me a date and then I will be promoting the crap-ola out of that show! I can't wait! Here's the video of the show...let me know what you think! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzMLndUccQQ

Well, I am off to pick up some pepperoni for mini-pizzas for the kiddies lunch! Ahh the glamorous life I lead!
Enjoy your day!

another great site.....

Have been working on putting together a website. I have one, but I want to be able to control it, write things on it whenever I want, be able to update it instantly. In my searches, I found this awesome website that is extremely easy to use....extremely.
http://www.wix.com/
Since I have been fooling around and working on this site, I think my webpage has changed a total of three times! Enjoy! Have fun!
http://www.ericascott.ca

NEW YORK CITY BABEEEE!

I am hitting the comedy stages in New York City! It is going to be such a wonderful experience, I can'twait!

I do need a little help though.....quite a few clubs in NYC call their shows "bringer" shows....which in essence means you have to bring a certain amount of paying customers otherwise you won't be allowed on stage. Ugggg! Please help me by spreading the word!

Gotham Comedy club requires I bring 4 and Stand Up New York asks that I bring 8...HELP! Please pass this note on to anyone and everyone...you never know who is friends with a friend who knows a friend in NYC. If anyone is interested in catching one of the shows, all they have to do is call ahead for reservations and state that they are there to see me ERICA SCOTT.

Gotham Comedy Club Saturday July 256:00208 W. 23rd Street (Between 7th & 8th Avenues) for reservations call212.367.9000be sure to tell them you are going there to see ERICA SCOTT http://www.gothamcomedyclub.com/about.php

Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden Tuesday July 289:0029-19 24th Ave, Astoria, Queens. (Located between 29th and 31st Sts.)http://queens.about.com/od/eatingout/gr/bohemian_hall.htm

Stand Up New York Comedy Club Thursday July 308:00236 West 78th StreetReservation Line212-595-0850be sure to tell them you are going there to see ERICA SCOTT http://www.standupny.com/index.php

Cheers!Erica

Have been trying out new things with the blog. Adding clocks, pictures, blah, blah, blah...it is still missing ooomph! Switched the background yesterday a total of seven times...still haven't found quite the right one. Maybe I'll add recipies or an advice column. Add music? Video?

I really need to find a hobby!

I wanna be a drag queen!

So I'm working on another sketch for the next big Full Bawdy Comedy Show in September (you don't want to miss this show!) and this is my idea........

• I want to sing the song "Hey Big Spender"


• wear an outfit that is sort-a kind-a like a drag queen dress (because lets face it...those ladies have the bestest outfits!!)


• dance with a chair


• be flirty but yet not too feminine


• basically I want to be me trying to be sexy which honestly ain't sexy (think truck driver i a dress)


• there's a lot of hip thrusting and gyrating involved in the song

this outfit would be PERFECT!

I've been working on the song and the dance but am having a hard time finding just the perfect dress. I want something tight (and on this size 20 body...EVERYTHING is tight!), flashy, sassy and I want a big...BIG wig!

If anyone knows where I can find a dress...THE dress...a beautiful drag queen dress...send me the info! (and remember..I'm poor...nothing toooo outlandish in price) I've been ebaying, have found a few things, but so far, not quite what I am looking for. The search continues!

Here's to FLEET WEEK!

Since 1984, New York City has held Fleet Week to honor the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps....from all over the world. The week features extensive military demonstrations, as well as the opportunity for the public to tour some of the visiting ships and talk with the men and women who have dedicated their lives to serving their respective countries. IF YOU EVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO GO.....GOOOOOO! It truly is an experience that humbles you...makes you realize that the complaints that you have about your job, your boss, your co-workers.......are kinda-sorta small. NOT that I would belittle anyone who works hard for their pay cheque...we all do...I stood in one spot for eight hours on concrete floors for eight hours at a time dealing with people who would make me cry...I complaining the whole time....and I was a CASHIER......imagine fighting in the army, navy, marines. I honestly don't think.....let me rephrase that...I KNOW I couldn't do that job. My hat is tipped to those that do. God bless them and keep them safe.

p.s. not only do I honor them....but let me just say.....in those uniforms....YUMMMM!

Slaughter Daughters have a new co-announcer!

Very exciting news! I just became the co-announcer for the Rideau Valley Slaughter Daughters Roller Derby Team! SAY WHAT! Yup, that's right, I do not lie! Slaughter Daughters is an amazing group of women...they are charismatic, genuine, gutsy, tough, kind-hearted and just overall amazing women. The first game I will co-announce will be May 30th in Ottawa....I predict it is going to be an event filled with fun, laughter and amazing memories!

I love being me!

http://rideauvalleyrollergirls.com/

la-la-love this site!

Was cruising the Internet a wee while ago....and came across this site. It really is a fantastic site...the graphics are awesome, the videos are well made, and the message....highly educational. Visit EVERY link on this site....the song is hysterical...in fact every video made me chuckle. I shared the site with my teenage daughter....she loved it, and passed it along to all her friends. I suggest you do the same....it's a fun way to learn about 'down there' issues!

http://takecaredownthere.org/

The Great Canadian Laugh Off and me!

I am proud to say I was a contestant in the Great Canadian Laugh Off this past weekend. It's a comedy competition that runs for a week in Toronto and showcases the talents of comedians from all over the world. Each night two comedians are chosen out of 8 to go onto the finals...I wasn't one of the two chosen but still consider myself a winner....I had an awesome set, performed the best I could, gave it my all.....I walked out of there with my head held high. Mark Breslin (the founder/owner of the Yuk-Yuk's comedy clubs) came up to me as soon as I left the stage and asked to speak to me privately. He really liked my performance! That is a great, great compliment indeed! It was a wonderful night, saw some great comedy, made some fascinating new friends and reconnected with some old ones. It was definitely a night to remember!

I'm performing at a strip club!

.....no, not to dance...to perform comedy!

I guess the strip club is trying to turn over a new leaf and have decided to bring in a comedy show once a month.....ya, cause that's the logical next move. Fire the dancers and bring in comedians....makes sense to me! (insert sarcastic laugh here). Even though they no longer bring in dancers, smack-dab in the middle of the stage there still stands the pole......I may just have to see what magical moves I can make on it! (that should be comical!) Wish me luck.....it should be an interesting night indeed!

Toronto's a pain in my neck!

I arrived safe and sound yesterday in Toronto after a four hour train ride. I don't really mind the train ride....especially this time because sitting next to me was a young lad that I used to work with at Giant Tiger. We laughed, giggled and shared stories the entire ride.

For about a week now I have had an extremely sore and stiff neck....making it hard to turn my head and enjoy a comfortable nights sleep. It was feeling a bit better before I set off on my journey to the big city of T.O.....but this morning when I woke up.......my stiff muscles are worse than ever. Usually I sleep like a baby in Shelley's bed (her bed is simply glorious and I get the bed all to myself which is a treat for me....my hubby and I share a three-quarter bed....talk about cramped quarters!) but after a night spent tossing and turning and tossing some more...I am moving like a zombie in one of those low budget horror movies.

I am going to really try and work the muscles today by perhaps doing some exercises (what? did I just say I was going to exercise?) Tomorrow night is the big Fulll Bawdy Show......http://www.fullbawdycomedy.com....and in the show I dance on stage in spanex pants....now is NOT a good time for me to have a stiff neck. I can't dance when all my muscles are agile....not sure if I can even cha-cha with out turning my head!
Cross your fingers, say your prayers that by tomorrow night I am at least semi-mobile!


Enjoy the sunshine that today has brought!
signed.......Still waiting to be discovered

giggles....

Was cruising on photobucket.... wonderful site to get pictures from...found some that made me giggle....and what good is giggle if you can't share it!?!

A BIG show I am proud to be a part of......

Host:
"THE FULL BAWDY COMEDY SHOW"
Type:
Music/Arts - Performance
Network:
Global
Date:
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Time:
9:00pm - 11:00pm
Location:
The Studio @ Hamilton Place
Street:
101 York Blvd
City/Town:
Hamilton, ON
Phone:
9055277666
Email:
reservations@fullbawdycomedy.com
Description
Hamilton Place and Shelley Marshall in co production are Proud to Present , the Back by Popular Demand!The Full Bawdy Comedy ShowThis Comedic, Burlesque, Musical show will shock Women into reality and Men into discovery! Among the stellar cast are Canadian Comedy Award Winners , Sandra Battaglini, Nikki Payne and Renne Percy; All recent receipients of this prestigious accolade. Actress and writer Precious Chong, recently received rave reviews for her smash hit “Zdenka Now”And Melissa D'Agostino best known for her ravely reviewed "Lupe" , while Kristin McGregor clowns around stage flaunting her famous characters featured at last year’s Toronto Fringe Festival. Also on the bill is the dynamic , Erica Scott , Named "Ottawa's Rising Star" and Musical Guest named "View Magazine's Reader's Choice Female Artist of the year" Ginger St James. Producer/Host of The Full Bawdy Comedy Show and recently back from her North American Tour, opening for Puppetry of the Penis, Shelley Marshall named “Best New Discovery” by Now Magazine, is always creating and celebrating all forms of comedy. Come Celebrate Canadian Comedy!tickets ON SALE NOW!!http://www.ticketmaster.ca/event/10004269C1F88898?artistid=1305047&majorcatid=10002&minorcatid=53

such a liar!

Crap! I am such a frigin' liar! I come on here and say that I PROMISE that I will faithfully write my blog....that lasted one day! ONE FRIGIN' DAY! And it is not as though I have a valid excuse....like both my hands were horribly burnt rescuing a baby bear from a forest fire and I am unable to type.....or that pirana's ate off all my fingers while I was pulling a young boy out of the water and into the safe arms of his mother and that is why I could not type a blog. NO excuses...just laziness! Pure and simple. Okay, so let's try this again......I promise to write in this blog every day....okay maybe not every day but EVERY week!

Never too old to punk it up....right?

I'll be 39 this year.

I'm no spring chicken.

Do I feel old?

Somedays.

Do I look old?

Somedays.

Today I went and got a new hair-doo....a faux-hawk.

A fake mohawk.

Why?

Why not?!

I'm not a prissy girl.

I'm not a delicate girl.

I'm not a girlie-girl.

My faux-hawk suites me.

I love it.

The funny part is, I am getting TONNES of compliments...but not from they young, hip crowd....FROM OLD LADIES! I mean ladies with silver hair, wrinkles and who cash a retirement cheque. They love the doo! I am liberating old ladies! I love it!

liar, liar, pants on fire!

Big thumbs down to me. I said I was going to faithfully blog.....I lied. Okay, okay, I honestly swear that I am going to honestly attempt to blog on a regular basis! I swear! Cross my heart!

Tonight I am taking my 14 year old daughter to the movies...where she will be meeting her boyfriend...the two of them are going to see a show together. Pretty harmless. Right? As long as she doesn't do half the stuff I used to do when I was her age...everything should be all right. Hmmmmm....maybe I'll watch the movie with them....just to be safe!

Lazy lil' bugger!

WOW! I haven't been very faithful in keeping my blog updated lately...oops! I'd like to blame a busy schedule, or a demanding workout routine...but truthfully....only laziness is to blame!
Here's the next EIGHT vlogs......I promise I will be more diligent about updating my blog! Promise! Maybe. We'll see.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=zLH0t6vb22c
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=iyXyakzKCRs
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=qlZGNb4Gzc0
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7P8rMln288
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=XtBXfX5JWSg
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=rwaI_H5cSBA
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=bGJ59tdjISA
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw1D1bJkIcQ

video blog #10

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=yuX0TcDE5dk

......my drinking wisdom.

Vlog#9

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc-w94XdVfg

...we all know a B.A.R.B.!

vlog#8

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=y3SQpnAyTT8

...grocery stores have a dress code....who knew?

Vlog #7 .....the face of a REAL starter wife!

...a few issues I have with a certain television show!

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=eJYC6_VNZCk

video blog#6 "Dream Predictions"

......it's amazing what dreams can tell you.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=LHu78J29mdo

video blog#5 "I had a dream."

.........I had a dream. I know it means something.....but what??

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=7JSjtjMxDjg

video blog#4 "WHAT?!!!"

...finally got the sound good....a little too good...don't watch this with the volume WAYYYY up...I don't want to be responsable for shattering your eardrum!

I think I'm addicted to v-blogging!!!

I'm a video blogger!

I have started video blogging. Who knows how often I will v-blog...I tend to start things and then loose interest in them very quickly. The first video....the quality is horrible and the sound is VERY crappy, but it was my first attempt and I am learning as I go. The second video (which is a response to the first) is a little better. Hopefully by the time I have done a hundred video blogs I will know what I am doing !!!!

Just for Laughs Showcase tonight!

Tonight I am performing at a Just for Laughs Showcase in Ottawa. Just for Laughs is a comedy festival held every year in Montreal...but is seen world wide. A producer from the show will be at the showcase watching, taking notes, listening. Am I ready for the 'big festival'? No, probably not, but I do want to make a good, lasting, positive impression on those that put the show together....because I might not be ready this year....but next year...or the one after that...or the one after that....I'm gonna be more than ready!

p.s. say a wee prayer and cross all your fingers and toes that all goes well...so well that someone actually pees their pants because they are laughing so hard at my ha ha!

beep-beep-bop-beep-boop

The modem on our computer blew up last week...ever since then we have been on dial-up.....ever since then then I have been slowly going insane! I absolutely cannot wait until our new modem comes in the mail....I didn't realize before how easy I have it with our computer. I want to know something I google it. I want to send someone a letter it can be written and delivered in a minute. I want to share pictures with friends and family of the new lizard my daughter got for Christmas...no problem. But with dial-up? Nothing is quick. There is no sharing? Can't seem to google. I AM GOING INSANE! I am a techo-diva....I just never realized it before.