Sunday, December 20, 2009

What's being said about Christmas


The Christmas Season is apon us! I have found a list of funny Christmas quotes to help you cope with this holiday season.

Yes, we all love the holidays...but sometimes they can make us want to scream, pull our hair out and drink WAY too much eggnog!! In order to truly enjoy this holiday season it is important for you to keep smiling and laughing....after all, the Christmas season is meant to be a time of joy.

"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall." -Larry Wilde.

"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." -Joan Rivers.

"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included." -Bernard Manning

"Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home." -Carol Nelson

"Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money." -Author Unknown

"Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present." -Author Unknown

"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." -Phyllis Diller

"There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them." -P.J. O'Rourke

"Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet." -Author Unknown

"Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ." -Bart Simpson

"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." -Erma Bombeck

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." -Jay Leno

"Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money." -Author Unknown

"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year." -P.J. O'Rourke

"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit." -Kin Hubbard

No comments: