I'm not signing up for that!

I have always been a 'big girl'. It's no secret. Whether you catch me from the front or the back there ain't no hiding it.....I'm pleasantly plump!

I have curves, rolls and cellulite dimples. After 30 years of struggling and yo-yoing with my weight I finally came to the conclusion that I am happy with myself the way I am and should stop comparing my body to those of super-models. Of course I would like to loose a few pounds, but no longer desire to be a teeny size 2.

A while back I drove past a gym and thought "why not? Exercise could be fun....it always looks fun on tv!" so I walked in with full intentions of joining. Since I had never looked into joining a gym before I had no idea what to expect. I figured I would go in there and pay a small fee and be able to begin sweating to the oldies that very same day. I probably could have started my exercise regime that very day....that's not the part of the scenario that I had problems with....it was the 'small fee' part. Jack (the super-buffed herculian that was behind the front desk) informed me that in order to become a member of 'his' gym I had to sign a YEAR long contract and PAY $1500. WHAT?

"What if I don't want to go to the gym for a year?"

"Well, Maam, you don't have to keep coming for a year, but you will have to pay for a year's membership. You still pay even if you quit."

"That's stupid."

"That's our policy maam."

"Can't I just join for, say, three months?"

"Sorry maam, we only have contracts for a year"

"That's stupid...and stop calling me maam."

"Sorry. Don't you think you owe it to yourself to make a commitment to better health?"

"All my pants are 20% jean and 80% spandex....obviously I am not that commited to weightloss. What about that sign you have outside..'Join for a month's trial for $10?' Can't I do that?"

"Oh, you saw that sign. Okay, ya, I can sign you up for a month's trial for only ten dollars"

If I had brought my inhaler I would have smacked him and run! I ended up signing a month long contract for ten dollars...figured it would be a good way for me to see if I would actually use the gym, to see if I could actually get my self into a work-out routine. That one month for ten dollars deal turned out to be the worst idea EVER! Those 30 days ended up costing me TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS AND I gained 15 pounds! They had all this fancy equipment but the only machine I knew how to use was the snack machine...and peanut butter cups in that thing cost THREE DOLLARS!

I won't be joining another gym anytime soon, perhaps I'll start a walking routine on my own, or maybe buy a yoga tape and do it in my living room, or become a vegitarian......maybe. For now...I'm quite happy in my spandex jeans....at least for today.....you never know about tomorrow though!