Achoooo!

Christmas day is here! Ya-freakin-whoooo! I loved watching the kids open their gifts, I loved the meal my mom prepared....it's a shame that my nose is so stuffed up and my head is so utterly congested that I can't fully enjoy the day. Next year for Christmas I am asking for a big bottle of vitamin C in my stocking!!

Huh?

My house is full, no room left at the Inn. There are 9 of us sharing limited space. I was hoping that it wouldn't be a problem, that the size of my house would just mean that we would share more love, hugs and closeness during the holidays. Perhaps I was wrong. I was making toast for Nathanial, my in-laws little 8 year old foster boy, when he came up to me and said....
"You have a really small house."
"Yes I do"
"No...I mean it is teenee tineee"
"Yes it is, but it's still nice"
"I said it was small....I never said it was nice."
.........ouch!

......my in-laws are on their way. Should be here in a few hours. It's gonna be fun......right? Good times? Me, my husband, Cheyanne, Cassidy, Calvin, Nacho, Eric, Emely, Nathaniel and Markis...all in my wee little house. It'll be good, right? RIGHT?

...wonder if anyone would notice I was drunk by noon?

...filled with self-doubt!

Tomorrow night I am performing at Yuk-Yuk's in Ottawa.
Tomorrow night I am MCing.
I have never MC'd before.
I am afraid!
Very afraid!
My comedy routine...I have that down-pat. I know what I am going to say, I say it, I get off stage.
MCing requires a wee bit of spritzing, contact with the audience, improving....this terrifies me!
What if I talk to someone and they don't answer?
What if I am heckled?
What do I say to a heckler?
How do I open the show?
I hate doubting myself. I want so much to feel strong and confident....and right now I do not.
I am stressed.
Stress gives me diarrhea.
I have diarrhea.

...just got back!

Right after supper my hubby and I ventured out to start AND complete our Christmas shopping all in one evening...needless to say we were somewhat delusional! We were able to check off half our list...but were too tired to go any further. We must have walked ten miles, looked at a million objects, spent WAY too much moola...(and honestly our list is small, we truly aren't buying a lot this year...but as everyone knows, it all adds up VERY quickly!) I will go again another day to finish off my list...no rush...I have 9 days left!!!

Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming!

....and I am not ready!
I don't even have half my shopping done, nor the desire to do it. My in-laws are coming next week along with two little foster boys that they take care of and I haven't gotten the extra groceries I need yet. I am not worried...sometimes I find a thrill in the adrenaline rush I get when I have to run around like a chicken with it's head cut off. Sometimes I work better under pressure. I am taking my time this year, going slowly, not getting my panties in a bunch. I know that everything will get done...it always does. So for now, I sit, I type, I drink my coffee, I relax!

GO HERE NOWWWWWW! www.imikimi.com

I was reading a friends blog and she was raving about this site GO THERE NOW! It's free. It's fun. Once my kiddies get home from school I imagine they will be uploading their own pictures. Got there now! Life's too short not to do silly fun things!

The good, the bad and the ugly!

The Good.
The show in Toronto went absolutely fantasticle! It was a night of pure magic. Each lady who took the stage captured the entire room with her performance. The television producer was there and without a doubt loved the show. He will start next week writing up three different proposals to pitch to various networks. He wants to pitch the show as (1)a one hour comedy special (2)a documentary/movie (3)a re-occurring sitcom. I am NOT picky....I'll be happy with whichever one gets chosen (if one gets chosen...you learn very quickly in this business not to count your eggs before they hatch!).
The Ugly
Now we sit and wait. Wait for the producer to contact Shelley. Wait for him to pitch his ideas. Wait for the networks to decided yes or no. We wait. I HATE WAITING! Absolutely hate it! Patience is definitely not one of my strong suits!
The Bad
My computer has died. It's dead. Cannot be resuscitated. I am using my daughters laptop....but fighting with a teenager for computer time is not a joyous occasion. It is so close to Christmas.......a new computer may have to be put on the back burner of "things I need" for now. Oh well, my daughter is tiny....I can take down her if I have to!!!!

In three days I leave for Toronto ...again! This Saturday is the BIG Full Bawdy Comedy Show. I say it is the BIG show because a few days ago, Shelley Marshall (the producer/Creator of the show) signed a 'letter of intent' with a television production company. They want to turn out stage show into a television show. How freakin' awesome is that!!!!!???! The show on Saturday will be professionally videoed, photographed and critiqued. There is quite the buzz going around about the show so I am hoping we are 'sold out' come Saturday night! Here is a sneak peak at our last show......I am the one dancing in orange spandex!

Elect Dan Molson

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

A few years back I was involved in the making of a sitcom pilot. It was written and produced by two local gentlemen and it took a total of about two months to film. I had a blast doing it, it was oodles and oodles of fun. The finished result was brought to various networks, but noone showed any interest in it and it was never bought. I have been showing it off lately.....let me know what you think!

putting it away for my grandbabies!

Okay, so technically I don't have grandchildren....my kiddies are only 14, 9 and 8.....but I am cleaning out their toy room and just can't force myself to put EVERYTHING in a box for charity. There are somethings that I am going to keep and hold onto...for my grandbabies! The girls three storey barbie house....that is being disassembled and put into storage, Calvin's super hero action figures....keepin' those too. How much fun will it be for my children to have their children play with some of their toys from childhood......TONNES OF FUN I SAY! Am I keeping everything? No. Am I keeping a lot? No. Just the toys that never seem to go out of style...barbies and action figures. All the Hannah Montana and Bratz...they are simply a fad, ten years from now forgotten.

It is a sad day. Cleaning out the playroom, getting rid of all the baby toys....a gentle reminder that my children are growing up. No more babies in this house. Makes me a little sad....I am off to find the hidden chocolate stash left over from Halloween.

Hold me....I'm scared!

I got a call from Howard (the booker for Yuk-Yuk's in Ottawa)....he wants me to start hosting/MCing shows. The thought of that literally terrifies me! As soon as he mentioned it I started hyperventilating.....I actually had to sneak an inhale from my puffer! Before I strut my stuff on stage to perform stand-up, I am very nervous....VERY nervous. But with stand-up, I am performing a routine that I have memorized in my head. As soon as I start reciting my lines, I ease into a comfort zone. With MCing however, you are expected to improv, add-lib, chit chat nilly-willy with audience members. That scares the crap out of me. The thought of talking to drunk people about this and that....not sure if I can do it. What if someone says something to which I can not instantly think of a clever response? What if I go blank and freeze? I guess I should come up with a line or two that I can use in case that situation happens, but still.......the idea that I will be MCing in one months' time is giving me diarrhea. Ultimately I will never know if I can MC unless I actually do it........I think I will start praying NOW!

Allllll Aboard!

I am leaving in the morning as soon as my kiddies get on the school bus for the crazy, bustling, hectic, wonderful city of Toronto. I am not going there to perform on their numerous stages, instead I am going to cheer on my dear friend Shelley Marshall (google her!!)who is the only female finalist in the Stand-Up-and-Bite-Me comedy contest for BiteTv. She's a comedian who, when she gets on stage, takes control of the entire room. She's witty, funny, silly, dramatic.......she's simply amazing to watch perform. So I am going to go and cheer her on, to cheer on the funniest person in the finals, to cheer on the only vagina in the contest...Shelley Marshall!
ALSO, Shelley and I will be meeting with a television producer who wants to discuss turning the Full Bawdy Comedy Show into a television production. The show is her creation, her baby....I am going there to soak in all the incredible energy and be a witness to the making of something very grand and spectacular. (now watch, with my luck...when they do put this show on tv.....my character will be the only one cut!) lol
Tonight I am performing at a wee pub in Cornwall...it's a Wednesday night so I am not sure just how many people will be coming out for the show...but wish me luck!
Cheers!

Just writing a wee note to say I hope everyone had a fantasticle Halloween! My kiddies got lots of sweet treats, the weather that night was warm (no snow!) and even I dressed up...I was Fat Ninja - protecting the neighbourhood from eeevvviilll!

...I picked up an Elvis costume for my yellow lab....so next year I am thinking of dressing as Precilla!

Ready or not...here it comes! What you ask? What is coming? SNOW! What a horrible four letter word! Every year at this time everyone acts surprised when the first snow fall is predicted. Every year we all say "What? Snow already?" "Now? I can't believe it!" It happens EVERY YEAR at the SAME TIME! Why are we always so shocked?
As a society.....we're pretty slow learners. We should all be taking the short bus to work!

I can feel it!

Things have been pretty crazy lately
There is a definate shift in the air
I feel as though something big is about to occur in my life
what it is I do not know
but I know it's BIG
am I psycic?
a fortune teller?
do I have a crystal ball?
No
it's just a feeling
a BIG feeling
perhaps nothing will happen
but wouldn't if be fabulous if it does!

When will I be happy?

I have been performing my little heart out. Every weekend until December is booked, which is awesome....I think.

My shows recently have ranged from absolutely fantastic to good....no real stinkers in a while......BUT, am I happy? I did a weekend run at the Prescott, a comedy room in Ottawa. Full room every night, on the roster with some fabulous comedians, my shows went well....but I walked away NOT happy. A year ago I would have been thrilled to receive the responses from the crowd I was getting this past weekend....but instead, I spent the hour driving home telling my self "it could have been better..I couldn't have been better". The crowds laughed, I had applause breaks...but for some reason, while I am on stage, I always seem to focus on that one person in the crowd who is just not digging my material. Why can't I concentrate on the lady to my left wiping tears from her eyes, or the man on my right doubled over holding his sides because he is laughing so much? Perhaps comedy is like crack....you are always searching for that high. The high you had the first time you had to hold your next line because the laughter was so loud.

Why can't I just enjoy a good night filled with laughter and not expect all of them to be 'rockstar great' every time I waddle on stage?

I'm a cover girl babeeee!

The Full Bawdy Show was last Friday. I was nervous, I was scared, I was petrified. It was about to be my first time on stage doing a sketch-style performance......I honestly couldn't breathe. I got on stage...my hands shaking...my stomache turning....and it went AWESOME! Was it Oscar worthy...NO...but I am quite proud of how I did. The next show is already slotted to be on November 29th in Toronto at the Zero Gravity Theatre...I can't wait!
Above is our picture which was displayed on the FRONT COVER of View Magazine. That's right....FRONT COVER! I can now officially say I am a cover girl!

My first standing O.....and no that is not the name of an exotic male dancer!

"
Last night I was part of a comedy show called Capital City Comedy (C3 for short) that performed at a pub in Ottawa called Pier 21. The place was packed with 200 tickets sold before the show. Six comedians went on before me, each one doing really, really well. I went on, did my ten minutes, enjoyed myself on stage, did my 'closer' then "I'm Erica Scott, thank you very much, enjoy the rest of the show"....as I walked off stage, people started to stand and clap. I turned around, the whole room was standing and cheering and clapping and smiling AT ME! I courtseyed, said thank you and then skipped away! I had just recieved my first standing ovation! It was a good night! A good night indeed!

It's up and running....like Forest!

What is she talking about you ask? Why it's my new website! Yes, I said it....my new website! The lovely Chelsey has put together a wonderful site that I can call my own.
www.ericascott.ca

It is still a work in progress, but that doesn't mean it is any less pretty than all the other web-sites out there! I'm in cyper-space people! There ain't no gettin' rid of me now!

Had a great night!

Did a show last night at the Toledo Royal Canadian Legion. IT WAS AWESOME! Great crowd, great atmosphere, worked with great comedians.....great, great, great! Comedians have such up-and-downs when performing...one night bad, the next night good.....that when a night comes and you are on fire, can do no wrong on stage, the funny never stops....it is a night that carries you through the next bad one...it is a night that re-assures you that you are headed in the right direction...it is a night that makes you love this screwed up/dirty/cut-throat world of comedy.

.........a show I am proud to be a part of!

THE FULL BAWDY COMEDY SHOW”
LIVE AT THE STUDIO AT HAMILTON PLACE

HAMILTON, - Hamilton's Own Shelley Marshall present's “The Full Bawdy Comedy Show.” The Full Bawdy Comedy Show is a celebration of renowned Canadian female comediennes coming together to bring you the most outrageous comedy show of its kind.

For Women this show will shock them into recognition, and for the men, into discovery. On the bill is 2007's Canadian Comedy Award Winner and Stand-up comedienne, Sandra Battaglini, Susan Fischer whom the Toronto Star gives 4 stars for her one Woman Show “Evelyn Reese” Melissa D'Agostino, and her one Woman Show “Lupe” gained her Four Stars from both Now and Eye Magazines! Also on the bill is Precious Chong who will flaunt her hysterical characters, from her Canadian touring one Woman show, “Zdenka Now” Kristen Mc Gregor, the magnificent Clown, received rave reviews and sell out performances at the Toronto Fringe Festival this year. Erica Scott, our Capitals fastest rising comedienne, whom is taking the comedy scene by storm. And Shelley Marshall, born and raised in Hamilton and named “Best New Discovery” Now Magazine comes fresh off her Canadian tour with “Puppetry of the Penis”.

This show is about the collaboration of Women complimenting each other in a broad range of characters and styles of comedy. Anything can happen with this fast past, multi medium clown, burlesque, music and film extravaganza... audiences have raved about this unique vaudeville styled show “Its such an inspiration to see women succeed and supersede in comedy! Cant wait for the next show!:) and thank you again, it was truly motivating and above all...BRILLIANT!! “

Come with an open mind and you'll leave with a filled heart!
This show is adult admittance with a May Contain Nudity Warning!
Strobe lighting, fog machine and whip cream may be used throughout the
performance!

www.fullbawdycomedy.com

WHERE: THE STUDIO AT HAMILTON PLACE
WHEN: Friday, September 26th at 8:00 p.m.

TICKET INFO: Tickets $19.50 Ticketmaster.ca or call 905-527-7666 For Box Office information contact 905-546-4040. Tickets go on sale Friday, July 11, 2008.

NOT MY JOKE.....I just thought it was funny.

I need a punchline for this...HELP!

I was recently told by a fellow comedian, that my posting joke ideas and asking for input...and on one occasion I said "I need a punchline for this..HELP!... was unprofessional. That I was demeaning myself as a comic by doing so.

I enjoy the feedback and input I get from those that read this blog.....and honestly there are only about six of you. When I titled a post "I need a puchline for this!", that was just my way of asking for input.....not for trying to get others to write my jokes for me. Could I have worded the post differently...absolutely..but I didn't think it would become an issue. It was never my intent to send out the messege that I wanted others to write my comedy. I have asked for input on many, many jokes on here.....99% of which I have never used on stage, but have enjoyed hearing what others thought.

I am curious to get the feedback of others...because people see things in different ways, and we are all funny in our right. IF I use a line that has been posted...I will definately ask for permission to use it first.

I have been able to put together a solid comedy routine....one that has taken me to many different stages in many different places...using my own material. I just wanted to set the record straight that I greatly appreciate the feedback, input and suggestions......because I enjoy talking about comedy...NOT because I wish to steal, copy or get someone else to write jokes for me.

Now that that is off my chest..............I need a punchline for this...

So a man, a parrot and a construction worker walk into a bar.......!

......pretty face? Nice ass!

I had my first photo-shoot! Figured it was about time that I had some headshots done and I was given the name of an absolutely wonderful photographer who's price was AWSOME!

Not sure what picture I will pic to hand out to all the comedy clubs (not that they are asking for it...)but when they do, WHEN THEY DO, I wanna be ready!

I am honestly not a fan of having my picture taken, but am pretty happy with how the pictures turned out.

Almost over.....

Summer is almost over! YAHOO! Kids will be back in school, house will be quiet....I will be bored! They drive me bonkers when they are home, but when they are not here I miss them terribly!

it's a comin'!!!!

I am in the process of building a web-page....well, it is not I who is building it because I am an utter and complete computer moron...but one is being built. As soon as it is up and running I would LOVE to have any and ALL feedback! Should be constructed very shortly, keep watching for the link to be posted!

Cheers!

No excuses now!

Well, I did it. I quit my job as cashier at Giant Tiger!
Why?
Certainly not because I didn't like it there, because I did......very much! The people I worked with were absolutely fabulous! But I have been getting more and more stage time, which of course is at night, and the majority of the shifts I worked at Giant Tiger were at night too. It was getting so that I was not home every night of the week.....I had to make a decision....
-persue a career in cashierism or comedy

Comedy won the draw. Only time will tell if I have made the right choice. I know that I will be welcome back at Giant Tiger anytime....and since there is only one store(Giant Tiger) in this small town, I will be there everyday anyways....just not getting paid!

It was a great place. The people there made me laugh everyday. They are encouraging and supportive of my decision and I have promised them all the WHEN I am rich and famous...I will buy them all a LARGE coffee at Tim Horton's!(with chocolate sprinkles....cause that's the kind of generous person I am!!! )

is using a popular saying stealing?

Okay, I have a question. Being a comedian, I know that it is WRONG and UNFORGIVABLE to steal a joke from another comedian, BUT....is using a popular line in your act considered stealing?

Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?

I'd smack that!

Everybody was kung-foo fighting!

The grass is always greener on the other side.

Come to the dark side!

.......the reason I ask, is because I heard this great line and it fits in my act and I want to use it. It is a line that is not necessarily said by another comedian, it is just a popular saying, a saying that is on t-shirts and mugs...can I use it? Here it is....let me know what you think.

I don't care if my hubby goes to strip clubs or looks at other women...'cause let me tell ya, he may wear the pants in the relationship...but I control the zipper!

My thoughts are that it is not a direct quote from someone, it is just a quirky saying, so it should be okay to use it on stage. OR should I say before that line "as that popular saying goes.....he may wear...etc."

What do you think?

...not the BIG news....but NICE news!

Performed at Absolute Comedy on Wednesday for their Pro/Am night. Had a great set, good time and enjoyed myself completely! Yesterday, I recieved a call from Absolute....they wanted to let me know that they had just recieved a phone call from a lady that was in the audience. She wanted to know my name and where I would be performing next because she LOVED me! Then Absolute went on to say that they had recieved a similar call a month ago after I performed there.....a call came in at eleven thirty that night wanting to know who I was and where I would be hitting the stage next! I HAVE FANS! I'm talking honest-to-goodness fans...not people I am related to, are friends with, or even know!

So many nights I have sucked on stage, bombed, died....one phone call can make all those bad performances disappear. If you see someone perform, and you really enjoyed them....let them know. It makes all their hard work worth-while and it may make the difference to them as to whether they keep performing or not. So many nights I have wanted to quit....but one positive comment from a stranger can make me pull up my boot-straps and keep going.

I thank you kind strangers for taking the time to let me know I made you laugh!

Today I feel like a rockstar!

..............still have that 'other big news' but can't post it yet....don't want to make waves just yet.

maybe tomorrow....

Still can't fully say what the 'big news' is. BUT tonight it may all come to a head and tomorrow I will be free to say what is going on. I am performing tonight at Absolute Comedy.....if I am not asked to leave first. That is all I have to say. Stay turned!

to be continued....

I am off to work in a mere matter of seconds, but wanted to let you know that......I have an interesting blog to write (just can't do it right now at this particular moment). It has to do with the wonderful world of comedy (heavy on the sarcasim when reading the word 'wonderful').

What could my rant be about?
Have I been discovered?
Have I been banned from a club?
Did I pee my pants on stage?
Is it good news?
Is it bad news?

.............you have to wait and see!

time to get ready for summer!

I RARELY shave above the knee, and my hubby had the nerve to asked me to do WHAT?.............

I'm in 'slow-ass' motion....

Busy, busy last two weeks. I am drained of all my energy....my mother-in-law has been visiting for a week, so I am pretty sure she has put some sort of black witches curse on me and sucked all the energy out of my soul!

She's a wonderful woman, and if she ask's, PLEASE tell her I love her to bits and pieces! (she scares me!)

crap!

I had this wonderful blog entry written, it was really quite beautiful. I wrote about the love of my family, about how happy I am with my life right now, how I do not want to be anywhere but here....at home with my family on this Saturday night.....but I clicked the wrong button and BAM! It was deleted! I still love my family, still am happy with my life.....but computers....computers really burn my ass!

People don't like being called sluts?

Okay, so I do this joke where I say that I am a natural beauty (after making fun of my imperfections) and then proceed to say "I am a NATURAL beauty, much like some of the pretty young things here...with their NATURAL pretty faces and their NATURAL skinny bodies...it's too bad you're all whores!" May sound harsh, but it is a pretty funny line that usually brings quite a bit of laughter. BUT as the audiences in the clubs get younger and younger, the line is getting less and less laughter. Older women can find humour in a joke that states that if you are skinny...you must be a whore....BUT the younger girls take it to heart. They automatically assume that you mean it and then their claws come out!

I don't want to take the joke out of my repitoire because it leads into other jokes..so I think if I reword it, it may be all, and no feelings will be hurt.

So...this is how I will reword it. "I am a NATURAL beauty, much like the pretty young things you see in Playboy, or Vogue, or Canadian Quilter magazines......whores. (said in a deadpan voice). I think the rewording will work much better, will stop people from wanting to scratch my eyes out, and will still get a laugh.

What do you think Boober?

How about.........

What if I word the 'birthday' joke a wee bit different? Told it to a few comics on the weekend, and noone got it...so obviously it either needs re-wording, or it just ain't funny! How about.....

Birthdays for boys don't change much from year to year. Whether they are one or twenty one...whether they get a Tonka Truck or a lap dance...all they really want to do is play with the box.

Funnier?
Better?
....or just scrap the joke all together?